The Birthday Card I Never Gave to My Daughter

My desk was long overdue for a cleaning.  I'm the type who finds it difficult to work in a messy area, so I straightened up my desk so I could waste more time get some work done.

And there it was.  The 1st Birthday card I bought for my daughter.
It was blank inside.
It was 3 weeks before her 2nd birthday.

How did I forget this?  Why hadn't I ever filled it out?  Why didn't I write in it the day I bought it?  Am I a terrible mother?

That's it.  I'm a terrible mother.

But, wait.  What were we doing around that time?

We had just moved into another house in a different town.  I was planning her big 1st Birthday Party.
We were just getting into a rhythm and schedule at our new living arrangement.
I was busy trying to be a fantastic Mom.  Engaging her (enough?).  Talking to her (enough?).  Reading to her (enough?). Teaching her (enough?).
Watching her grow up, oh so fast.

I remember seeing the card on the bar of our kitchen.  "I need to fill that out, even though her birthday was last week."  Card gets buried.  Card gets taken to our bedroom, where all the other things that don't have a home at the moment get thrown into.  Card ships over to my craft room in my desk with all the other cards that have come into our home.

And then I found it.  I wanted to cry.

In this point in my life, I'm trying really hard to lean on the Lord in all things.  Sounds difficult, I know.  And it is.  It's hard to push all your worries onto Him and not try to control everything.  This is something that we do, as Moms.  But, as Moms, we need to know that our help comes from the Lord.

So, I know that God sees me each day, taking care of my Baby.  He sees my need for peace.  He sees my need for reassurance that I'm a decent good Mama.  He sees me and helps me with my struggles.  I just have to ask.

He sees that blank Birthday card.  It's not what's not written in the card....
It's the words that never made it onto that paper because I was soaking up all the blessings I've been given with my child.

Should I write in the card even though it's a year too late?  She won't know unless I tell her.

I will just tell her the same thing that is just as true now as it was a year ago....

UPDATE:  K actually did receive a Birthday card from us on her 2nd Birthday this month.  So, I did improve! ;)


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